Don't Run Away
by xSlythStratasfaction
Summary: A week or two after coming home from his disastrous trip to Ohio, Kurt finds out from Finn that Blaine's transferred back to Dalton Academy and rejoined the Warblers. Now, after seeing Blaine perform at Sectionals, Kurt realizes that something is wrong and he decides to take matters into his own hands for his sake and Blaine's. 4x07 AU.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. I don't own anything - there we go.

**Don't Run Away**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: Spoilers for Season 4 - an AU of 4x07 on. Basically a 'what if' Blaine transferred back to Dalton like he was planning instead of being talked out of it like Sam was able to do in the actual episode.

* * *

"_Kurt, that you?"_

"_Of course it is, Finn. Where's dad? Can I talk to him?"_

"_Sorry, man. He's not here at the moment; he and mom went out on a date since Burt's got a night free this week. I could always have him call you back though."_

"_That'd be great actually. Do you know what time they'll be back?"_

"_Around 10ish, I think. You still gonna be up?"_

"_Yeah, most likely. Isabelle's got me filing some past designs for her, so I might be pulling an all-nighter tonight. Thought I'd talk to dad for a little while as I sorted through these files. I guess I'll have to wait though."_

"_Well, umm, I guess I'll have Burt call you when he gets home-"_

"_Wait… Finn?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Are you okay? You sound frazzled."_

_Finn sighed on the other line, "Well, to be honest… umm, no. Things aren't going too well right now."_

"_Why not? Something happen with the glee club?"_

"_Yeah, uh… we might not have enough members to compete at Sectionals in a few weeks."_

_Kurt gasped softly. It wasn't like this was anything new to the New Directions - they had dealt with the problem of lack of members last year too - but just a few weeks ago when Kurt went back to see the school perform Grease, it looked as if the ranks of New Directions had filled just fine. "But I thought-"_

"_We had a member quit the other day. We're a guy short."_

"_A guy? You lost one of the guys?"_

"_Yeah, man… I, uh, I know you and Blaine are over, but-"_

_Kurt winced at the sound of his ex's name and then immediately blistered in anger, "You mean to tell me that Blaine quit? Seriously? I can't believe he'd do that! I mean-"_

"_He didn't just quit, Kurt."_

_Finn paused and Kurt sucked in a breath, instantly nervous to hear what his stepbrother had to say. "What did he do?"_

"_He… he transferred back to Dalton."_

::

Kurt laid flat on his bed, eyes staring blankly up at the wall as he listened to the pitch of Rachel's voice get higher and higher. Somewhere in their tiny apartment, she was on her phone with Quinn, listening to the other girl talk about what a mess New Directions had become after the loss of Blaine's talent.

"You mean to tell me that you guys can't even get _one_ band member to lip sync and sway in the background?! If you guys don't get another member by tomorrow, you can't perform and New Directions will crash and burn, Quinn! We didn't bust our behinds just to go from National champs to pathetic has-beens in the same year!"

As Rachel's voice grew more and more frantic, Kurt covered his face with one of his pillows and sighed heavily, his stomach turning as Finn's words from just days ago echoed in his ears.

"_He transferred back to Dalton."_

Blaine.

Blaine had left McKinley and rejoined the Warblers. He had just waltzed in one afternoon after lunch and broke the news to Finn, told him that he sang with the Warblers and it felt right, that Dalton felt like home and McKinley was just a temporary shelter. He said he didn't belong at McKinley and when Finn told Kurt about it, he expressed how Blaine basically flat out said that without Kurt there (and in his life), things felt emptier and wrong at McKinley.

So he left.

He left the New Directions without a leading front man, without their handpicked successor of Rachel Berry, and with Blaine's transfer, the group was a man short right before Sectionals.

Deep down, Kurt wondered if Blaine heading back to Dalton would jeopardize New Directions' chances at winning Sectionals. Blaine was a showman through and through and over the last two years, he had only grown in his vocal power and stage presence. He'd be a force to reckon with on his own and with the Warblers - the group he had once had under his beck and call - he may have become unstoppable.

Kurt sighed again and removed the pillow from his face, only to find Rachel staring darkly at him, her phone squeezed to death in her right hand.

"They can't get a replacement for Sectionals. They may not be able to compete."

"And how is this our problem? We've graduated, we've moved on. We aren't a part of New Directions anymore-"

"We're alumni, Kurt! We're supposed to support our friends and right now, they need our help!"

"Didn't you just say, like, last week that McKinley wasn't our home anymore? That we really didn't belong in Ohio?" When Rachel fell silent, Kurt rolled his eyes and sat up, patting his bed to signal the girl to sit next to him. She quietly obliged and he reached over to squeeze her hand, "I know you are sad for them and everything, but it's _their_ job to get new members. Not ours. Finn-" He flinched when he saw Rachel's lower lip disappear under her teeth, "Finn's gonna be able to find someone else to fill Blaine's-" Now it was _his _turn to gnaw on his lip, "-spot and the group will be fine."

"I just don't- I know Finn and I are over, but I don't want him to feel like this is his fault, you know? Blaine just up and quit, _just like that_, and I know he's probably freaking out right now. New Directions were supposed to practically be shoe-ins to win Sectionals and now there's a wrench in the plan."

"And you're scared." It wasn't a question.

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against Kurt's shoulder, "You remember how it felt when we lost Regionals a few years ago? Remember how awful it was to go from the exhilaration of our performance _to losing _and knowing that we were losing something amazing after it was all said and done." She waited until Kurt nodded before she continued, "Just imagine how Tina and Artie and Sam and everybody else would feel if they weren't able to compete because they were a person short. Imagine being in their shoes, being a part of the National Show Choir championship team, and having to go from the top to the bottom all because you can't find a replacement teammate-"

A small voice in Kurt's head chimed that no one could ever replace Blaine, but he kept his mouth shut and shushed the voice back into oblivion. "I understand."

"Do you?"

"Yes." He wrapped an arm around Rachel's shoulders and rested his head on top of hers, "I get it now. This is pretty awful for them, isn't it?"

"Yes, and Kurt, I know it's hard for you too… knowing that Blaine left McKinley and went back to Dalton, especially after what the Warblers did to him… but I'm glad you understand my point-of-view."

Kurt shook away the memories of Blaine throwing himself in front of Sebastian's rock salt laced slushie and squeezed Rachel a little bit tighter. "I do hope they find a new member."

"My god, me too, Kurt. Me too."

::

He knew what had happened before Rachel even came bursting into his room.

"Let me guess, they found a replacement?"

"Yes! That new cheerleader girl, the one Quinn said sort of reminded her of herself… umm, Kitty? She was able to persuade one of the Cheerios to join as a backup until after Sectionals, when they can audition some other people. New Directions will be able to perform!"

"That's nice."

Rachel took a seat on his bed and cupped a hand over top of his, "You're still upset that we can't make it back home for Thanksgiving, aren't you?"

"No."

"Don't lie to me, Kurt Hummel. I know you better than that."

Kurt huffed, "Okay, fine. I wish I could go home and spend Thanksgiving with my dad. I mean, I know that we really don't have the money for plane tickets and we were just gonna bypass this holiday and go back to Ohio on Christmas, but right now, I wish I was at home in my kitchen helping Carole bake or sitting on the couch watching my dad watch football."

"You miss them?"

"Of course I do."

"I know. I miss my dads too, but Kurt, just think! Tomorrow we'll be having our very first New York Thanksgiving and we might be able to go see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and then we can come back here and eat… and maybe, if you don't care, we could watch New Directions perform at Sectionals."

Kurt sat up sputtering, "Wait, what?"

"Quinn's going to record the performance and live stream it for us. Since we're the only two not able to make it home for the holiday, she wanted us to see everybody perform. Now I know you won't want to watch Dalton sing, but-"

"No, it's okay. We can watch it all. It'll be like being there, right?"

"Kurt, we don't have to-"

He waved her off, poking her slightly with his foot, "It's the first Sectionals _without_ us. We should've been there to watch it in person, but instead we'll be here eating stuffing and cranberry sauce and watching our friends perform on your laptop. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Rachel beamed at him, casually throwing herself down on top of his body as she squeezed him in a bear hug, "I can't wait to spend Thanksgiving with you," she squealed. "It'll be the best Thanksgiving _ever_!"

::

Kurt's entire body was trembling the second the announcer called out the Dalton Academy Warblers. Rachel's arm shot across the couch as she gathered up his hand in her own and together the two of them watched closely as the lights came up and there stood Blaine in the middle of a sea of red and navy blazers.

It was like someone had plucked him from the past and dropped him onstage, like Blaine Anderson circa November 2010 was standing there instead of the Blaine that Kurt had left behind in the halls of McKinley just weeks before. He gasped at the sight.

"Oh my god," Rachel breathed next to him, the grip on his hand growing tighter. "What did they do to him?"

Kurt couldn't even answer. It was as if the Blaine onstage at that very moment was part android, part human; he _looked_ like Blaine, but the look on his face was anything but. It was his showman face, the mask that Kurt had only seen a handful of times and something that he thought he really wouldn't ever have to see again.

And it _hurt_ to see it, to see _him_ like that.

Onscreen Blaine opened his mouth and his smooth voice swept through the speakers, the Warblers bopping and swaying behind him as he danced around the stage. The song was easy to recognize: _Dark Side_ by Kelly Clarkson, a song that had been running on the airwaves for quite some time now. It was a prime choice for the all boys' show choir and it was also the perfect song to complement Blaine's voice.

However, it also sounded like a cry for help, especially to Kurt, like Blaine wanted someone to save him.

_And remind me who I really am  
__Please remind me who I really am_

From offscreen, probably somewhere to the left of Quinn, a soft, "_Jesus Christ_" could be heard and Kurt knew that the others watching the performance, the people who personally knew Blaine and had known what had caused the break-up, were just as shocked as he was at the words spilling from Blaine's mouth… even though the mask on his face told otherwise.

_It's hard to know  
__What can become__  
__If you give up_

A knot welled up in his throat as he watched Blaine belt out the lyrics.

_So don't give up on me  
__Please remind me who I really am_

Beside him he felt Rachel scoot closer before he felt her arms slip around his middle. "Shh, Kurt, don't cry," she whispered to him, alerting him to the fact that sometime between the start of the performance and now, he had started to cry. "Please don't."

Blaine continued to sing, looking more and more unusual as he moved. It was a testament to the closeness of their bond that Kurt was able to figure out that the Blaine performing with the Warblers wasn't anything like the Blaine he had watched sing _Beauty School Dropout_ just a few weeks ago… and he wondered what happened.

And then he remembered.

_Don't run away  
__Don't run away_

He left.

He ran away.

::

New Directions lost.

Rachel screamed when the judges announced the winner and Kurt's heart stopped beating for a second or two as he watched the faces of his friends fall. Onscreen the Warblers jumped up and down and cheered happily; Sebastian and some random blonde haired boy who had a few solo lines in their second number stepped forward and smiled as they accepted their trophy and in the background, Blaine stood with the faintest of smiles on his face - a fake one that Kurt was quick to catch, one that made his skin crawl and his whole body ache.

Quinn and the other alumni in the audience cursed under their breaths and then went silent, Quinn eventually turning the camera back towards her face as she stared back into the lens.

"I don't know what happened here," she said softly and back in New York, both Kurt and Rachel found themselves wondering the same thing.

::

"Something's wrong with him," Kurt said as he boxed up their leftovers and shoved them into the fridge. His movements were robotic and when he realized how stiff his body felt and how odd his movements were, he shook himself out a bit and ran a hand through his hair. Rachel grimaced next to him, sliding the last container of mashed potatoes into their tiny fridge.

"What do you mean?"

"You saw him perform, Rach. You can't tell me that _that_ was the same Blaine who played opposite of you in West Side Story last year. Something's wrong."

"I'd say," Rachel hissed. "He dicked over his friends and went back to the Warblers because he's upset that you two are over."

Kurt blinked slowly, wishing the wave of hurt that threatened to overtake him to just disappear. "That's not what I meant and he didn't necessarily-"

"Oh please, Kurt. You can't just sit there and defend him after what he did to you."

"Don't act like I don't know what he did, Rachel! I know he cheated. I remember. I was there when he confessed to it, okay?! Just talking about him right now is tearing me apart, but honestly, did you even _look_ at him? Something's not right!"

Rachel just rolled her eyes and stepped out of the kitchen, walking towards her room. "If you even dare try to defend him right now, Kurt, I'm not going to be able to restrain myself from shaking you." She walked into her room and grabbed up a blanket from her bed, walking back into the living area. She wrapped the blanket around herself and stared up at Kurt with dark, blazing eyes, "He _cheated_ on you. He broke your heart. If anything, he deserves what he gets and if that means he needs to be sad or whatever, then so be it."

Kurt's eyes narrowed as he stepped back, "Funny to be hearing this from someone who once cheated on my stepbrother." When Rachel's mouth fell open in shock, Kurt pounced, "I'll say this again: I _know_ he hurt me. I'm still hurt, but right now, I'm also worried… because the Blaine I know… he never- he- whatever that was onstage tonight was not him."

He crossed his arms over his chest, hugging himself tightly. "I'm scared, Rachel. Just like you were the other day for Finn when you found out that New Directions needed more people. _I'm_ scared for Blaine because he- he just- that wasn't _him_ out there."

"And was it _him_ or was it someone else who _cheated_ on you?" Rachel growled out.

Kurt closed his eyes, the tears that had welled behind his lashes leaking out and trailing down his cheeks, "I don't know, but I think I need to talk to him… and actually talk this time." He didn't wait for any reply from his roommate; instead he turned on his heel and went into his room, closing the dividing curtain behind him as he curled up on his bed and willed the images of Blaine's veiled expressions to vanish from his memory.

* * *

A/N: This fic has been rolling around in my head FOREVER since 4x07 aired. Plus I saw a prompt on Tumblr about it and my mind was like WRITE IT NOW because it was already floating around in there and other people seemed like they wanted to read it, sooooo... here it is. Don't worry this one won't be very long so I should _hopefully_ get it done soon!


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. I don't own anything - there we go.

**Don't Run Away**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: Spoilers for Season 4 - an AU of 4x07 on. Basically a 'what if' Blaine transferred back to Dalton like he was planning instead of being talked out of it like Sam was able to do in the actual episode.

* * *

The second the plane touched down in Ohio, Kurt was ready to find Blaine.

Sure, he just had a hell of a week (or, if one was going to be accurate, a hell of the last few weeks in general), but really his mind had been on Blaine the whole time. During the last month alone, he felt like he's been floating in mid-air, like he was tethered to something, but filled up with enough air to cause him to feel just _off_. He'd kept in touch with Finn the last few weeks, trying his best to find out more about everything that has gone on, but to his dismay, not one soul had heard from Blaine since Sectionals - and even then, the boy seemed distant and cold.

And even worse, according to Sam, Blaine up and deactivated his Facebook as well as changed his phone number, so _no one_ could get a hold of him. Perhaps that was for the best though, from what Finn said: some of the members of New Directions (especially the newbies) were _pissed_ that Blaine left and ended up being one of the main reasons they lost.

Even Tina was livid at him and that was a shock to Kurt, having known the two of them to have become close over the last few months. But then again, it _was_ Tina and she had been gung-ho about leading New Directions to victory since the class of 2012 walked out of McKinley High. So now Blaine was gone, cut off from his friends' lives, as well as completely out of the picture in Kurt's - it was like the last year or so never existed, like Blaine never transferred to McKinley and made friends, like whatever he contributed to New Directions' win last year was a farce.

And that's how Kurt knew that something was absolutely wrong.

It was like Blaine had completely given up.

::

"What happened when Blaine quit?"

Finn looked up from his bowl of cereal and yawned, staring sleepily at Kurt as the other boy grabbed a banana out of the fruit basket and began to slice it into his bowl of oatmeal. "I thought I told you on the phone," he grumbled, still trying to wake himself up enough to hold a normal conversation.

Kurt groaned, "You told me he transferred and that he felt like McKinley wasn't his home anymore, but that was about it. I need to know what else happened that day, Finn."

"Why? So you can go and fix it. I'm pretty sure he cheated on you and you guys broke up; hell, you couldn't even look at him the night of _Grease_! Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Something just isn't right with him. I could see it plain as day when Quinn was filming Sectionals. That wasn't Blaine up there… or at least not the Blaine I know- _knew_, I mean."

Finn poked at his cereal, "The Warblers stole our Nationals trophy-" Kurt gasped, "-and they left a video about one of us coming to get it back. Blaine decided to be the one to get it because, well you know, he's the only tie left to the Warblers and it was obvious that they were asking for him. I didn't even notice it, to be honest, but it was a really bad idea to let him go alone. But he- he just got up and left during rehearsal and I thought he was just going to go over there and get it back, but he didn't."

Kurt pushed his oatmeal to the side, feeling his stomach churn in anticipation of what else Finn had to say.

"When Blaine came back the next day, he acted like it hurt him to be there. He said McKinley wasn't his home and that the Warblers were like his family, that they welcomed him back with open arms. He even said he sang with him! And that's when I knew he was a lost cause. I tried to reason with him, but he said that the Warblers were his destiny and that was that. The next time I saw him, he was up onstage at Sectionals kicking our asses."

"I can't believe he'd go back to them after last year though," Kurt whispered, his stomach tight as he remembered the Warblers turning their backs on Blaine as he screamed in pain from the rock salt slushie. "They almost blinded him and they didn't even care. They didn't even stay to see if he was alright."

"Well, whatever they said to him last month made him go back."

Finn stood up and grabbed the box of cheerios, pouring himself another bowl as Kurt sat there deep in thought. For several minutes, the boys sat in silence, the only sounds were the noises their utensils made as they scraped their bowls - Kurt just pushing his food around and Finn shoveling his into his mouth.

By the time Finn was about to pour his third bowl of cereal, another person joined them in the kitchen, grabbing the cheerios box from Finn, erupting a shout from him.

"Dude, give that back!"

"I haven't even eaten yet and from the sounds of it, this box is almost empty. I call dibs on the last bowl," Sam grumbled, shoving Finn's outstretched arm away as he dumped the rest of the cereal into a bowl and tossed the box into the trash. "Morning Kurt."

"Morning."

"Did I miss something? What're we talking about?"

Kurt waited until Sam sat down at the table before he rounded on him, "Did Blaine ever look different to you before he transferred? Like upset or anything?"

"Well, yeah," Sam mumbled around a mouth full of cereal. "After you two broke up, he was a mess, I guess. He just wandered around like a zombie and the only time he smiled was when something really crazy happened. Any other time he just looked tired."

"Break-ups will do that to a person," Finn muttered; he was about to say something else when Sam talked over him.

"Yeah, but Blaine was like that before the break-up-"

Kurt popped up in a second, sitting up straight in his chair as he stared cautiously at Sam. "What do you mean?"

"Well, after you left for New York, he got quieter. Sure, he talked and stuff, but he didn't seem as _Blaine_-y as usual, if you know what I mean. He just seemed… lost."

Kurt frowned deeply and crossed his arms over his chest. "I know he was upset that I left, but he never seemed that sad when we talked on Skype."

"Probably cause he was more excited to see you," Sam added. "I know that he was a little sad over the fact that you couldn't throw your inaugural ball for his presidential win like you planned but-"

"Wait… what?"

"_What_ what?"

"Backtrack for a second… _inaugural ball_?"

Sam raised an eyebrow, eyes narrowing slightly out of confusion, "Yeah. The night we won the election, Blaine told Artie that you were planning a party for him to celebrate his win. Then when Artie asked about it a few weeks later, he said you had to cancel it because you were busy with work."

Kurt blanched. He remembered the night Blaine won the senior class presidency. He remembered canoodling with Isabelle and their co-workers and how Blaine just kept on calling him. He remembered ignoring the call and then forgetting to return it later on, finding out the very next morning via text that Blaine had won.

_I won. You're looking at McKinley High's senior class president. Yay!_

He remembered calling Blaine up and yelling '_Congratulations_' in his ear when the boy finally picked up the phone; he also remembered the way Blaine's voice sounded - tired and gravelly, like he had otherwise spent all night cheering in celebration.

That or crying.

_Oh god. He was crying._

Kurt had never planned a celebration party for him. In fact, they never really spoke of the matter anymore. Kurt had said his congrats and Blaine had taken them and that was that. The rest of their conversation tilted towards the little party Kurt had with Isabelle and the other workers of Vogue and not once had an _inaugural ball_ come up.

And now Kurt felt horrible, absolutely horrible.

He shoved his bowl of barely eaten food away, standing up from the table as quickly as he could. It felt like his stomach was about to claw its way out of his body via his throat and he ran down the hall, collapsing to the floor in a heap as he threw up in the toilet. Behind him, he could hear Finn and Sam's footsteps and as soon as he was done expelling the contents of his stomach, a cup of cold water was handed to him.

"Swish and spit. Then you should drink a little. You look paler than usual," Finn said gently, watching carefully as Kurt did as he was told. He waited a few moments before he spoke again, "There wasn't a plan to celebrate Blaine's win was there?"

"How did you know?" Kurt croaked, sipping more of his water.

"We just guessed," Sam began. "You got really quiet and white as a sheet and it just reminded me of the day Blaine left and how he looked before he went back to Dalton. He told me that you wouldn't listen to him. Not that you didn't have every right to… you know, but he said that he broke your trust and that you were done with him and that was that. And then right before he left, he just stared at his locker for a little bit, closed it, and walked away."

"He did the same thing the night of _Grease_ also. I mean, he did what you're doing now."

Kurt looked up at Finn, "You mean like throwing up?"

"Yeah. We- Artie found a review about our show online and he wanted to read it to everyone before they went out to eat in celebration… but nobody could find Blaine, so I went to look for him. He was- he was in the bathroom, throwing up like you were just now, except… it wasn't pretty, Kurt. It was obvious he had been crying, but once I found him, he just rinsed, wiped his mouth off, and walked away. He didn't even say anything. He just _left_."

Sam nodded in agreement, crossing his arms over his chest. "I think he did that, like, the very last day he was there. We had a meeting for our superheroes club and he got a text on his phone-"

"The private superhero one?"

"God, Finn, no, his actual phone! Anyway, whatever the text said, he just shut his phone off, ended the meeting, and then left. Next thing I know, I see him coming out of the bathroom and he's shaking and when I asked if he was alright, he just nodded and went on. I don't know what happened, but I think he got sick then too."

Kurt tugged his legs up towards his chest and rested his chin on his knees, his blue eyes clouded over in thought. "That was probably the day I messaged him. He just kept on calling and apologizing and it made me so angry. I got really mad a-and I texted him. I told him to stop contacting me, that I was done with him." He sighed shakily, "I was just so angry."

"You have every right to be. He cheated, Kurt. But, you've gotta understand that he felt... feels terrible about what happened. I know Sam understands it too; sometimes your head's not screwed on right and stupid things happen and you can't take it back, but then all you can do is apologize and hope the person you hurt can accept that. Blaine knew... knows he fucked up. He just wanted you to know how sorry he was."

"I know."

"He may have gone back to Dalton, but you could probably still talk to him."

"I know."

"So are you going to?"

"I have to. I can't- I need to." Kurt lifted himself off of the bathroom floor and righted himself in front of the sink, taking a quick glance in the mirror. He looked like shit. "I just hope he's not too far gone that he won't listen to me."

"Believe me, Kurt," Sam chimed in from his place in the doorway; Finn stepped back and slid past him to go back downstairs. "He'll listen. I promise. Blaine will always make time for you."

And then he left, leaving Kurt all by himself in the quiet, chilly bathroom. He stared at his reflection again and shivered, mostly from the cold, but also because Sam's last comment hurt.

Because Sam was right. Blaine had always made time for him… but Kurt hadn't always made time for Blaine.

::

Two hours.

A very, long intense two hours in his car making a trip he had once been so used to making and now Kurt was in Westerville, scared to death over what was about to happen. He was walking alone through the halls, his eyes taking in the over-the-top Christmas décor and the ridiculously shiny marbled floors. Long ago, he thought of this place to be like a castle, the perfect place to be when things had gotten rough in his life. But now, walking through the silent halls that slighty reeked cinnamon, pine scented cleaner, and bleach, everything felt suffocating.

To be honest, Dalton Academy was just as terrifying now as it was the very first time Kurt found himself walking through the pristine decorated halls over two years ago. Back then, he was a new student about to start a crazy journey he never imagined he'd ever have the opportunity to do. He never imagined to find love here, but he did. He found love and acceptance and when he left Dalton, things were different. _He _was different… and now, everything was different.

Hands tucked into his pockets, he made his way through the familiar hallway and found himself staring down the curved staircase, his heart racing in his chest as his mind flashbacked to the day he stopped a dark haired guy at the bottom of the steps and fell in love.

God, it had been so long ago.

Sighing, he went down the stairs and stepped through the threshold, walking down the hall, his hands clenched into fists as he slowly made his way towards the Warblers' rehearsal hall. From where he was standing, he could hear the perfect harmonization of the all male choir as they practiced yet another show stopping number (a Christmas song this time) and his heart constricted tightly in his chest when Blaine's voice soared over everyone else's.

_I don't want a lot for Christmas  
This is all I'm asking for  
No, I just wanna see my baby  
Standing right outside my door_

Kurt wrapped his arms around his waist and shuddered, feeling the usual chills he commonly got when Blaine sang like _that_. He could hear the raw power of his ex-boyfriend's voice as the Warblers' voices swelled around him; they were nearing the end and even though he had gotten there right as everything was dying out, he could tell how emotionally charged the song was, especially with the way Blaine was singing.

"He's amazing, isn't he?" A voice interrupted, shocking Kurt from his thoughts. He jumped backwards and turned on his heel, eyes narrowing immediately at the person who had the audacity to just stand there and stare at him.

"Who are you?"

"Ahh," the boy smirked. "I see someone wasn't paying attention during our Sectionals performance. I'm Hunter Clarington, the _new_ captain of the Warblers. And you must be…"

"My name is none of your business-"

"Kurt Hummel." Hunter's smirk grew larger as he looked Kurt up and down. "Honestly, Kurt, you act as if I've never heard of you before. Of course I'd remember the boy who stole our top performer from us."

"I didn't steal anything from you. Blaine transferred on his own."

"I'm sure he did… _after_ you badgered him into leaving. I don't think I've ever met a person more eager to jump ship than Blaine was the day I asked him to come back to Dalton. You would've thought he left Dalton against his will."

Kurt glared. As much as he wanted to argue with this new guy, he just wasn't feeling it, especially when the last notes of the song were ringing around him.

_You know that all I want for Christmas  
Is you..._

"I really don't have time for this."

"Oh, but I think you do," Hunter mocked as he stepped in front of Kurt and threw open the doors to the choir room. The Warblers immediately halted and looked up, their formations breaking as a few of the upperclassmen Warblers spotted Kurt standing behind Hunter. That's when Kurt spotted him: Blaine was standing there in the middle of the lineup, his eyes as cold as a winter day. He didn't look surprised or even excited to see Kurt. If anything, he looked gone... far gone.

A knot formed into Kurt's throat at the sight.

What had happened to him? Where had _his_ Blaine gone?

As his thoughts raced, Hunter took the opportunity to step inside, one arm locked on Kurt's elbow as he led the two of them into the rehearsal hall. "Well, Warblers... we have quite the surprise in store for us. Gentlemen, for those of you who don't know this fellow here, you're in for a treat. It's my pleasure to introduce none other than Warbler alum Kurt Hummel."

A handful of collective gasps erupted through the group, as if Kurt's presence was something sacred or something to be feared. His stomach flopped as he stared around the room and caught the eyes of several boys - their gazes judgmental or confused. Next to him, Hunter just smiled.

"Welcome back to Dalton, Kurt. Warblers, practice is over. Perhaps we should leave Mr. Hummel alone." Around the room, the boys gathered up their things and slowly began to trickle out of the room, all except for three: Blaine, Hunter, and Sebastian. Kurt couldn't catch Blaine's eye to save his life, but he was able to take a look at Sebastian and he really didn't like what he was seeing. Sebastian looked _livid_ with him, his green eyes mere slits as he glowered; he watched Kurt for a little while longer before he turned to Blaine.

"Come on, killer. Let's go grab something to eat."

Blaine just stood there, head lowered as he stared at his loafers, "Not hungry."

"Well you're certainly not staying here with _him_. Come on," Sebastian's hand darted out and caught Blaine's, causing a soft gasp to erupt from Kurt's throat at the contact. No matter how long he and Blaine were separated and no matter how angry he was at his ex, he just couldn't shake the awful feeling that filled his heart at the sight of Sebastian offering some sort of physical comfort to Blaine.

"No," he interrupted. "Blaine, I need to talk to you."

Blaine continued to stare at the floor, his hand still tucked in Sebastian's, but the grip was loosening fast. Hunter stood on the sidelines, leering angrily as he watched the turmoil unfold.

"Blaine, please."

"He doesn't need to talk to you."

"Stay out of this, Sebastian!"

"Kurt, don't." Kurt's heart exploded in radical beats at the sound of Blaine's voice. It was quiet and meek, nothing like the powerful crooning voice he heard earlier as he listened out in the hall. "Please don't," Blaine pleaded, his eyes finally coming up to look at Kurt. The emotion behind them was raw and Kurt stopped breathing; it was the first time since forever that he had seen a reaction in his ex whatsoever.

"Please, Blaine... can we talk?"

But Blaine didn't stay. His hand fell loose from Sebastian's and he marched right past Kurt and Hunter, his body barely brushing Kurt's as he plowed through the doorway and out into the hall. To his right, Kurt could hear Hunter make a snide remark, but it fell on deaf ears.

He turned on his heel and quickly dashed out of the room, his eyes darting around the hall for Blaine. When he spotted him heading towards the stairwell, he took off running, his voice yelling, calling out for Blaine to the other boy as he went around the corner.

"Blaine! Blaine, wait! Please?"

He ran into the stairwell and gasped when he collided with a prone figure. Blaine had stopped near the bottom of the staircase and he was looking up at the stairs, hazel eyes dark and unreadable.

"Blaine?"

"...why are you here?"

"I needed to talk to you. I just-"

"Do you remember when we met?"

Kurt felt wetness on his cheeks and knew he was fighting a losing battle with his emotions. There was Blaine standing in front of him, looking as handsome as ever, but there was just something _wrong_ with him. He looked so much like the boy Kurt had fallen in love with two years ago, but he also looked so much different. Sniffling, Kurt nodded, answering Blaine's question with a soft whisper, "Of course I do."

Blaine didn't say anything else. He just stared at the staircase.

"Blaine? I'm sorry. I'm sorry about what I said to you after _Grease_. I'm sorry for that text I sent you and I'm sorry I wasn't there more. I-"

"Goodbye."

It was like his heart stopped, like the world fell out from beneath his feet. Kurt's eyes widened when he heard the word slip out from beyond Blaine's lips; it was a forbidden word to them. They never said it. Hell, even when Kurt texted Blaine to leave him alone, not once had he used the word, but there was Blaine, beautiful, damaged, lost, messed up Blaine... saying to him like it was nothing.

"Blaine, no-"

Blaine turned around, his face like stone. He barely kept eye contact as he stepped forward, his gaze focused on Kurt's lips. "Goodbye, Kurt. I'm sorry."

And then he was gone, sidestepping Kurt to head back the hallway from which he came and as soon as he disappeared around the corner, Kurt collapsed to the floor, his chest heaving with awful, gut wrenching sobs as the pain of the last few months came slamming into him like a freight train.

It was over. It was really, _really_ over.

* * *

A/N: The response to the first chapter was amazing, guys! I really hope this chapter didn't disappoint. Please let me know what you thought! Also, the version of AIWFC that Blaine's singing is the version by Michael Buble! Check it out!


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. I don't own anything - there we go.

**Don't Run Away**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: Spoilers for Season 4 - an AU of 4x07 on. Basically a 'what if' Blaine transferred back to Dalton like he was planning instead of being talked out of it like Sam was able to do in the actual episode.

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal thoughts are somewhat mentioned; also there's a sex scene that could be considered dub-con (sorry if it seems like I don't know my terms; I don't write smut and this is a first for me.)

* * *

"You know, when Blaine showed up here last month, you'd think someone killed his dog or something."

Kurt choked back another sob, aggressively wiping at his eyes as he curled in tighter on himself. He was still sitting at the bottom of the staircase, his body too exhausted to move even after Blaine had left him there over fifteen minutes ago. He couldn't bear the thought of dealing with Sebastian Smythe right now, but there he was standing in front of Kurt like he had something to say and Kurt needed to listen.

"Go away, Sebastian. I don't want to hear it."

"You seem to think I care whether or not you listen to me. Well... newsflash, Anna Wintour: I don't." Sebastian moved from his spot in front of Kurt and took a seat on the steps. Had Kurt been less emotional, he would've been a little freaked out by how cordial his once arch enemy was being; however, the action went unnoticed and for that, Sebastian was glad. "I don't know _exactly_ what happened between you and Blaine, but whatever it was killed him. To be honest, I _never_ expected him to come back here… to transfer, I mean. And yet, here he is."

Kurt stayed silent, head tucked against his knees as he listened and sniffled, willing his tears to just subside.

Sebastian continued, "I don't know what your little group of peasant misfits did to him back at McKinley, but he didn't seem too concerned to leave them and come back to Dalton. Then again, I'm not too surprised; they were probably only friends with him because of _you_, right? …no wonder he came back."

Kurt looked up, his slightly puffy, reddened eyes locking with Sebastian's. He glared, "Blaine had friends at McKinley. What he doesn't have is any sort of friend _here_."

"Hmm, well considering how angry your little _friends_ got at him after Sectionals, I'd say the closest thing he's got to having a friend are the boys here."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, nothing… except for the fact that the Nude Erections went a little haywire following their loss. Must've hurt to come in second after being number one in the nation, am I right?"

Kurt shook his head, "They wouldn't-"

"Oh, but they did. It's a good thing that I was there to drag Blaine offstage because I'm sure a few of those kids would've torn his face off had they had the chance. They really weren't pleased with him."

"Him singing with you guys caused them to lose. I guess I could understand them being angry."

"Yeah, but yelling the things they did at him? Calling him a _pathetic loser_, saying things to him about how he never deserved you, saying he was a _coward_ for coming back here… grade A stuff. Great friends. Just the best."

Kurt's mouth fell open. He looked back up at Sebastian and frowned when he noticed the sincere look in his once enemy's eyes; Sebastian was telling the truth, New Directions had turned on Blaine.

_Oh God..._

"They really said all that stuff?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes, "Listen, Kurt. I'm not here to be your friend or beg you to get back with Blaine or anything. But what I am telling you is that something strange is going on and your friends haven't helped Blaine out at all. If anything, they just made things worse and to be completely honest, I'm not sure if you being here is a good idea either."

"I just want to talk to him."

"Funny because from what I heard, you didn't want anything to do with Blaine a few weeks ago."

Kurt scowled, "Of course I didn't. He cheated on me! I needed some time to think, but he just kept on calling and texting and- _wait_, how did you know that?"

"I have my resources," Sebastian countered. "Plus, it pays to have Blaine as a roommate." He reached into his pocket and grabbed out a single key, holding it out to Kurt. "I want to know what's going on with him just as much as you do, Kurt. We're on the same team this time. Blaine's my friend and even though I've done some shitty things to him – fuck, to _both_ of you – in the past, I just want him to get better... and you- you're the key to that, I guess."

"Sebastian-"

"Just go talk to him. I'm not going to promise that he'll hear you out because he never even listens to me these days, but you're his best bet. Maybe you could let him do a little talking too."

Kurt nodded, standing up from the floor to dust off his pants. He wiped at his eyes a few more times before he reached out and took the dorm key from Sebastian's hand.

"Thanks. I never thought I'd see the day where I didn't want to strangle you, but- thanks anyway."

"The feeling's mutual, now go. Room number's on the keyring."

Sebastian stood back, watching as Kurt disappeared down the hall and off to the dormitories. Deep down, despite his once dire hate for Kurt, he hoped that Kurt would be the one to finally break through to Blaine and find out _exactly _what was going on.

Because Blaine was just plain scary now. _Scary._

::

Blaine unlocked the door to his dorm room and stepped inside, hands flying up to loosen up the knot of his tie as he tugged it away from his neck and threw it across the room.

_Kurt was back._

Kurt Hummel, his ex-boyfriend, the boy whose heart he carelessly shattered just months ago, was back and looking to talk to him and instead of waiting to hear what Kurt had to say (or even trying to truly apologize again like he really needed to), he just dismissed Kurt with a simple goodbye and walked away.

_You couldn't even man up and talk to him. Pathetic._

He raised his hand to his heart and pressed down, feeling the quick, erratic beats beneath his hand as he struggled to steady his breathing and calm himself before he caused himself to have a heart attack. Sighing, he stalked across the room and took a seat on his bed, dropping his hand from his chest to instead grab up one of his pillows and hug it tightly to his body.

He wasn't sure what was going on with him at that very moment, but it didn't feel good and it eerily reminded him of the last time he felt so wretched.

::

_Eli's hands were trailing up Blaine's sides, his lips connected to Blaine's jawline as his hips thrust forward in a mad attempt to lessen the space between them. Blaine groaned beneath him, his body beginning to tremble as Eli started to undo the button and zipper of his jeans. Soon, cool air and the feeling of hot skin pressed against Blaine's erection and he moaned softly, his eyes shooting open at the intense reaction his body was getting._

_This was all wrong. This was so wrong._

_Eli worked his hips faster, a hand coming down to grip Blaine's hipbone as he panted above him, "God, Blaine, you are gorgeous."_

_His praises, however, fell on deaf ears; instead, all Blaine could hear was the sound of Kurt saying the same words on the very night they lost their virginity to each other. He closed his eyes, the tears he wanted to shed beginning to well behind his lashes as he quivered under Eli's hands. He could feel how close Eli was getting to his orgasm and all he could think was, 'Please let it end soon.' He knew he should've stopped this, should've pulled away from Eli the second the other boy kissed him, but he had been feeling so left behind, so unwanted, and he just wanted to feel loved again._

_And look where it got him._

_He was so stupid. So, so stupid. The second Kurt found out about this, he knew their relationship would be over; he had just broken their trust and now it was the end for them. Kurt would break up with him and never look back and not only would Blaine lose the love of his life, but he would also be losing his best friend._

_He whimpered, his mouth still sealed shut, and tears ran down the sides of his face and wet his hair. Above him, Eli groaned out in pleasure and quickened the rutting of his hips, one hand reaching down between the two of them; he wrapped his hand around both of their cocks and jerked, moaning loudly. His eyes were closed tight and Blaine wondered to himself if Eli would even continue this if he knew how badly Blaine was falling apart beneath him._

"_Fuck, Blaine!"_

_Blaine's eyes squeezed shut even tighter than they had before as his orgasm overcame unexpectedly. His body jerked upwards, pressing close to Eli's as he quietly came with a tiny whine. Eli shouted in pleasure just seconds later, coming all over Blaine's chest, his hand falling away from them as his hips slowed their motions._

"_That was amazing," the other boy breathed, opening his eyes to look at Blaine's face once he was mostly down from his high. His breath stuttered in his throat though when he caught the look of absolute misery on Blaine's face. "Hey... you okay?"_

_Blaine swallowed heavily, blinking back the onset of fresh tears that began to trickle down his face. He felt Eli roll away from him and then off of the bed, only to return seconds later with a handful of some tissue. Carefully, Eli wiped himself clean and then turned to clean off Blaine as well._

"_Sorry for the mess," he teased as he balled up the tissue and tossed it across the room. "You sure you're okay?"_

"_Can I- can I have some water?" Blaine croaked out, slowly bringing himself to sit up properly. He waited until Eli quit staring at him and left the room before he tucked himself back into his boxers and zipped up his pants. He sat still for a few minutes, listening as the water in the bathroom ran, and that's when he felt it: the strong wave of nausea. It smashed into him within seconds and he knew he was on the verge of having a breakdown. All he could feel was how hard it was to breathe, how tingly awful his skin felt, and how much everything burned, like he needed to rip off his own skin in order to feel right again. He reached down and grabbed up his shirt, which had gotten discarded seconds after Eli had brought him into the room, and tugged it on as fast as he could, cradling his pounding head in his hands once he was fully dressed. _

_He could hear Eli behind him, stepping back into the room with that glass of water that he just had to have. "You okay?" Eli questioned again._

"_No."_

"_Is it because I don't look at all like my profile picture?" Eli asked jokingly, not realizing the anguish that the boy sitting on his bed was having._

"_I'm sorry. I- I have to go," Blaine whimpered, rising from the bed to grab his phone and wallet off of Eli's desk. He didn't wait to see if Eli was following him, he didn't turn around... he just kept on walking. He walked right out of the door, climbed into his car, and drove approximately six miles away from Eli's home before he pulled over, hopped out of the car, and threw up on the side of the road, bawling his eyes out as he did so._

_Because, once again, he had just fucked everything up._

_As usual._

::

An awful, swirling feeling built up in Blaine's stomach and he jumped up from the bed, dropping his pillow on the floor as he ran into the en suite bathroom and fell to the floor, vomiting violently in the toilet. He choked and gasped, eyes burning with tears as he wretched into the commode, and when he was finally finished, he slid down to the floor in a boneless heap, praying to whoever heard him to just kill him now and end his pain.

He closed his eyes and draped an arm over his stomach, his entire body still quaking with nausea. "Why is he here?" He murmured to himself, feeling that ever present coldness leech back into his heart as he remembered the hurt, angry looks that had passed over Kurt's face the last few times they had been able to see each other.

He remembered the awful text he received only weeks ago, the one Kurt had sent him after Blaine had bombarded his inbox with apologies. Blaine had only began sending the messages after he woke up from a nightmare about that night with Eli and no matter how many times he tried to stop himself from sending yet another _I'm sorry, please talk to me_ message to Kurt, he couldn't help himself and sent more. And then Kurt finally messaged him back; the little ding of Blaine's phone making his heart race in anticipation.

He had opened the text with a hopeful heart and then wished he had never touched his phone at all.

_It's over, Blaine. Stop contacting me. We're done._

He had been sitting in the middle of a meeting when it came and he couldn't bear to not read it before the hour ended, so he opened it up right then and there in the room... and then when he saw those awful words there on his phone screen, he ended the meeting and left.

He couldn't handle it, much like he couldn't handle everything right now.

So he ran.

He was always running, from people, from himself. It was a never ending process, one that always exhausted him, but never stopped. Blaine Anderson had a knack for packing up and disappearing when the going got rough and of course, that's exactly what he did that day Kurt ceased all contact. He went home, sat in his living room staring at his phone, at the final message Kurt had sent, and waited until his parents came home.

::

"_Mom?"_

"_Oh, hi honey! How are- Blaine? Is something wrong?"_

"_I want to go back to Dalton."_

"_Wait... you want to what?"_

"_Go back to Dalton. I can't- McKinley's not- it'd be better for me at Dalton."_

"_But Blaine," his mother walked up to him, gently cupping his cheek in her hand. "I thought you liked it there; you loved McKinley last year and- oh no, is this about Kurt, isn't it? Honey, what happened?"_

_Blaine stood still, staring at the ground as he ignored his mother's concerns. He could hear her rattling on and on about him not eating enough and how he never slept anymore, how she could hear him crying at night and couldn't figure out why._

_But now she knew, thanks to his silence, and now she knew he was a failure at everything in life. He couldn't stay in one school for too long without wanting to leave, he couldn't keep friends, he couldn't get anybody to love him, and he couldn't keep his boyfriend because he just couldn't keep it in his fucking pants. Her son was a failure._

_He sighed, "Dalton's for the best, mom. Just think about it."_

_And she did, she discussed it with her husband ("About time that kid got over that pathetic excuse of a boyfriend; he'd be better off at Dalton anyway. He'd get a better education there and have a better chance at getting into a good college than he would at that awful public school.") and they both decided - in Blaine's best interests, of course – that Dalton was the way to go._

_Within days and with a few important phone calls, they had him all set to head back to private school and with a cold, expressionless demeanor, Blaine stepped back into the Academy not as Blaine Anderson, but as Blaine Warbler, the person everyone knew him to be, the perfect showman._

::

Kurt stepped into the room, his eyes sweeping the area as he took in the discarded tie and the pillow laying on the floor. The room smelled strongly of vomit and his stomach lurched in response as he looked over at the open bathroom door. He tiptoed over to the bathroom and almost gasped in horror when he saw Blaine's body flat on the floor, his eyes closed tight and mouth moving silently as he muttered things to himself. Kurt crept closer to see what he could decipher from Blaine's mumbling and felt his heart stop when he heard Blaine whisper, "I wish I was dead."

"Oh Blaine, no-" he said brokenly, mentally berating himself for speaking when Blaine's eyes popped open and fell upon him, his face contorting into something akin to shock and horror when he saw who was watching him.

Then, as quickly as it happened, Blaine's facial expression changed to one that was completely unreadable to Kurt; his mask had come down and it broke Kurt's heart yet again to see it.

Blaine was hiding from him and Kurt really wasn't sure he knew how to find him again._  
_

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the delay. I had an MRI on my brain yesterday and my thoughts were completely elsewhere instead of on trying to finish this chapter. I do hope that it doesn't suck as much as it feels like it does (especially the ending - I didn't know how to end this chapter without going too far into the next one.) Plus, I kept going back to change things and nothing sounded right. But oh well... let me know what you thought!


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. I don't own anything - there we go.

**Don't Run Away**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: Spoilers for Season 4 - an AU of 4x07 on. Basically a 'what if' Blaine transferred back to Dalton like he was planning instead of being talked out of it like Sam was able to do in the actual episode.

* * *

"Blaine-"

"You should leave."

"No, I'm not going anywhere. I want to talk to you. I want-"

"It's over. We're done." Blaine repeated, quoting the text that Kurt had sent him just a month ago. "You asked me to stop contacting you, so I did."

"That was a mistake. I never should've said that to you. I was just so mad and hurt and I-"

"You wanted me to leave you alone. I understand. You got your wish."

Kurt's eyes narrowed. "Why are you being like this?" He watched Blaine sit up and cross his legs, resting his elbows on his knees while he cradled his head. "I just want to talk, Blaine. You can tell me what happened and I'll listen and we can-"

Blaine wrapped his fingers in his hair, "We can _what_? Talk and be friends again? …Kurt, I _hurt_ you. You were right when you told me to leave you alone. I always ruin everything important to me, so what's the point in…" He trailed off and the untold meaning behind his words sent a chill up Kurt's spine.

"Blaine, I-"

"Go back to New York, Kurt. Find a new boyfriend, get married, be happy," he paused, taking in a deep breath. His next statement came out as a barely audible whisper. "Forget about me."

Blaine rose from the floor, sidestepping Kurt to head back into the bedroom, but Kurt followed behind him closely, arms crossed over his chest. "I'm not-"

"Everybody else does anyway. It's not like I'm not used to it." Blaine muttered quietly and Kurt almost burst into tears when he saw the strange flash of emotion flicker across Blaine's face when he realized what he just said out loud.

"Oh Blaine, I would never forget-"

"Yes, you will. You already have."

::

_There was a click on the other side of the line and Blaine knew that, once again, another call was ended before he got to say 'I love you.' It was a regular occurrence nowadays, now that Kurt was too busy to talk to him anymore. Their phone calls became more and more scarce and whenever they did have the chance to talk, the conversation always favored Kurt's life in New York… but never Blaine._

_Never, ever Blaine._

_He tried his hardest to get a word in sometimes, but then Kurt would get distracted - something would catch his eye in his and Rachel's apartment and he would suddenly ask for Blaine's opinion on it or he would spot something from work sitting in his room and then would end up launching into a story about how 'Chase did this' or 'Isabelle did that.' And then, as usual, Blaine would be pushed to the wayside, just waiting in the midst for his turn, for his time to shine._

_For once, he wanted to be an important part of Kurt's life like he used to be, but now it was all about New York and despite the fact that Blaine tried his hardest not to get too angry at his boyfriend for being excited about his new life, he found himself wondering deep down if maybe Kurt was going to get swept away from the glamour that was New York City and end up leaving him behind like he always feared was going to happen._

_Because it was happening now. The extravagance of New York City had already dimmed some of Blaine's light and sooner or later, it was going to douse him out completely._

::

_You already have_.

Suddenly, everything that had been wrong in the past came bubbling back up to the surface and Kurt _knew_ that this next conversation was _not_ going to be an easy one. He dropped down onto Blaine's bed and placed his hands on his knees, his gaze shooting to the floor. Blaine paced before him, one hand slowly rubbing across his stomach as if he was about to be sick again.

Kurt wondered if maybe his presence had anything to do with Blaine feeling so nauseous. "I never meant for that to happen, Blaine. You have to believe me. I just- I just got caught up in the whole _New York_ of all it - you know, bright lights and fame and- and work and I never meant for you to feel that way. I had no idea that you did, that you felt like I had forgotten you."

"I'm easy to forget."

"Blaine, no!"

"...what? I am. You forgot me, my _friends_ forgot me - if you can even call them that. Cooper doesn't even call me anymore. I'm easily forgettable." His voice was monotone and steady, his constant pacing having stilled when he began to speak. Across from him, Kurt stared on in horror as he listened to those awful self-depreciating things come out of his ex's mouth.

"_Never_. You're unforgettable, Blaine."

Blaine didn't say a word in response. He just stopped pacing and stood there at his desk, his fingers slowly tracing their way along the starched collar of his dress shirt; they trailed down the line of ivory buttons and stopped at the bottom, wrinkling into the fabric as Blaine clutched the material in his fists.

"_Stop_."

"Blaine, please… you have to listen to me. You are unforgettable. You are-"

"I think it would be best if you left, Kurt." Blaine bit out, the linen squeezing harder between his fingertips. His knuckles grew white as he gripped the shirt tighter and tighter.

"Blaine, stop! You're going to ruin your shirt."

"It wouldn't be the first time," the boy countered angrily as he jerked his fists forward and the material within his grasp gave and tore. Kurt gasped as Blaine kept pulling at the shirt, yanking and yanking as the shirt shredded in his fingertips.

"Blaine, stop it! Stop it!"

"Why can't you just leave me alone? Why can't you just go?" Blaine wailed, his watery eyes falling onto Kurt. He released his destroyed top and curled his arms around his waist, stumbling backwards into his desk as he struggled to get farther and farther away from the man before him. "You weren't supposed to come here. You were supposed to move on!"

"How am I supposed to move on when you're like this?!" Kurt screamed, his own composure crumbling as he watched his ex-boyfriend and former best friend completely meltdown in front of him. He had never ever seen Blaine like this, not one time during their year long relationship had Blaine ever crashed and burned like he was doing now. "I can't just leave here and leave you like this!"

"Why do you care? I hurt you!"

"I still love you!"

Blaine collided with the wall, his fingers reaching up to tangle themselves in his gelled hair. "You can't! I cheated on you! I ruined us. I fucked another guy!" Kurt's body lurched in pain at the admission, no matter what he already knew. "You can't love me!"

"You're my best friend and I know you messed up. I know you know you did too," Kurt began to explain, slowly making his way towards his shaken up ex. He was crying hard, his face aching from his struggle to not completely break down in horrendous gut wrenching sobs. "I know you still love me, Blaine. I know you're upset about what happened and I'm on my way to forgiving you; I'm not just there yet, but I'm getting close and I don't want you to continue _killing_ yourself over your guilt."

"You shouldn't forgive me."

"I'm trying… and you should try to forgive yourself too. This self-hatred has _got _to stop. You're only hurting yourself, honey." He didn't even blink at the slip of the term of endearment. "When I saw you perform at Sectionals last month, I was terrified because that boy onstage was _not_ the boy I knew. I'm not sure exactly what's going on with you, but you need- you need- Blaine, you need help."

Blaine visibly deflated, his hands flying down to his face as he began to bawl into his palms. Kurt rushed forward and wrapped his arms around his ex's smaller frame, collapsing into his own fit of tears as soon as Blaine's body was pressed against his. "God, what's happened to us?" He wondered aloud, his voice thick with emotion. Blaine trembled against him and he tightened his grip around Blaine's waist. "_God_, Blaine, I missed you."

"I- I missed you so much, Kurt. I never thought you would come back. You- you said you wanted me to leave you alone and it- it broke my heart all over again."

"Oh Blaine-"

"Please don't go. Please don't leave me."

"Never. I'm never saying goodbye to you, remember?"

::

Sebastian stood outside his room, his hands tucked into his pockets as he leaned against the door and listened in. He could hear Blaine sobbing and Kurt pathetically trying to (he was also crying, so his attempts seemed futile) soothe his broken friend. At first, he came running down the hall at the sheer amount of yelling that was going on in the room, but when things started to quiet down, he paused outside the door and waited, waited for a signal of some sort to come from either Kurt or Blaine - a call for help or maybe a plea to provide back-up… whatever was needed.

But instead, he got nothing and in return, just sat out there in the hall, ignoring his floormates' concerned glances as they peered out of their dorm room doors and stared curiously at him while he tried to listen in on the hushed conversation that was happening in his room.

"What's going on?" A meek voice asked from behind him. Sebastian turned around and found himself looking down at Nick, the other boy staring up at him with a worried look. "Is Blaine okay?"

"He'll be alright, I think. He needs some time, but he should be okay."

"Is Kurt in there?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think that's a very good idea? Wasn't Kurt the main reason Blaine came back to Dalton in the first place?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes, "No. _Blaine_ was the reason Blaine came back to Dalton. Kurt might have given him a little push, but the transfer was all Blaine." He paused for a moment to focus on the whispers going on behind his closed door before he turned back to Nick. "Kurt isn't going to be able to do much for Blaine, but I think this will help them both out in the long run."

"Hmm," Nick said thoughtfully, pressing a fingertip to his chin. "I can't believe you're helping Kurt out though. You two hate each other."

"Well, people tend to join forces when someone they care about is hurting," Sebastian muttered quietly, his voice barely able to be heard over the murmurs in the next room. "You didn't get to see Blaine like I did when he first showed up. He needs help and I think Kurt is the perfect person to persuade him to get it." Beside him, Nick nodded in agreement and then placed a strong hand on Sebastian's shoulder.

"You're really not all that bad, Smythe," he said with a grin, turning away from the door to head back down to his own dorm room. Sebastian waited until Nick had disappeared before he pressed up against the door again and tuned in on the soft hush on the other side. All he could hear was Kurt's high voice wafting in the air and he knew that somehow Kurt had been able to do what Sebastian and some of the other Warblers had been trying to do all along - _bring a part of Blaine Anderson back_.

* * *

A/N: This chapter is a lot shorter than the others, I know, but it had to be. I couldn't go too far with it without diving into the next one, so I apologize for the puny length. Also, for those of you that may be screaming that Kurt shouldn't be able to cure Blaine that quickly... he didn't. If anything, he just got through to Blaine a little better than everyone else and now Blaine might get the help he needs (and believe me, he needs to talk to someone because his self-depreciation is terribly upsetting.) Also, in the next chapter, we'll find out more about what happened to Blaine when he came back to Dalton, so stay tuned. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought! I hope to have the next chapter out soon. It won't be today because I've got another hospital visit this afternoon (WOO HOO x-rays... that was me being sarcastic by the way), but it will be soon. SOON.


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. I don't own anything - there we go.

**Don't Run Away**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: Spoilers for Season 4 - an AU of 4x07 on. Basically a 'what if' Blaine transferred back to Dalton like he was planning instead of being talked out of it like Sam was able to do in the actual episode.

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal thoughts are mentioned. Also self-harm.

* * *

Kurt looked up, watching the door to Blaine's dorm room creak open slowly. Sebastian quietly slipped into the room, shutting the door behind him as he locked eyes with Kurt.

"He's asleep?"

"Yeah, he's pretty exhausted." Kurt whispered as he ran his fingers along Blaine's scalp, his other hand resting on Blaine's chest, feeling the soft, fluttering beat of Blaine's heart as the boy below him slept peacefully. Tear tracks stained both of their faces and the evidence of their explosive reunion was scattered all over the place. Blaine's blazer and tie were lying on the floor, Kurt's shoes were discarded in the middle of the room, and a bunch of stuff from Blaine's desk littered their area rug.

"What happened?"

"He had a bit of a breakdown," Kurt said softly. Sebastian watched as the other boy stared down at Blaine's calm, sleeping face. "I've never seen him like this... ever."

"It's not the first time he's had one of those, to be honest."

"What you do mean?"

Sebastian just shrugged, slipping his jacket off and tossing it on his bed. He walked over to the closet and reached inside, grabbing out what looked like a garment bag. He carried the bag over to his bed, unzipped it, and pulled out a rough, stiff looking Dalton blazer. "This is Blaine's," he mumbled, holding the uniform out for Kurt to see. Kurt stared at the jacket in horror; it was completely destroyed. Buttons were popped off, a few still hanging by a thread; the cuffs of the sleeves were shredded as if someone's fingernails kept scraping the material over and over and over again.

Sebastian held the blazer out further and Kurt shrank back when a strange smell wafted into his face.

"What _is_ that?"

"Blaine had a moment when he first got here. This was the result."

::

_Sebastian groaned bitterly when he stepped into his dorm room and heard the shower running in the adjoining bathroom._

"_Hurry up in there, killer!" He called out as he shed his sweaty t-shirt and tossed it into the hamper. He dropped his lacrosse team bag on the floor and dug through it, smiling when he found a still full bottle of gatorade at the bottom. "Come on, Blaine! I need to shower!" Taking a swig of his drink, he leaned against the bathroom door, listening closely to see if he could hear Blaine singing in the tub. However, all he heard was absolute silence, minus the sound of the water running._

_That wasn't unusual though. Blaine hadn't sang a single note outside of Warbler rehearsal since he first came back to Dalton a few weeks prior. Sectionals was coming up in a couple of days, so one could say that Blaine was resting his voice for the competition, but Sebastian knew better: Blaine just wasn't his usual self anymore._

_Grumbling in annoyance, Sebastian plopped down on the floor and sprawled out, not caring whether or not he got grass or dirt on the rug. He decided to channel surf while he waited for Blaine to get out of the bathroom and ended up settling on a re-run episode of some trashy reality show; seconds later, he dozed off..._

_Only to reawaken when his cellphone beeped._

"_Ugh, shit," he muttered, lazily dragging himself across the floor to his bag, pulling the cellphone out to see who was bothering him. The second he laid his eyes on the phone, his heart plummeted._

Blaine's not answering his phone. Is he with you? _It was from Jeff._

_Sebastian turned back to the bathroom door and shivered in fear, skin crawling as he noted that the shower was still running... more than a half an hour after he got back from practice._

"_Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fucking shit!"_

_He ran over to the door, grabbing at the handle with all the strength he could muster and pulled._

_It didn't budge._

"_No! Fuck, god damnit! Blaine?! Can you hear me? Open this door!" He pulled and pulled, his arms aching from the strain of how much force he was putting into yanking on that damn door knob. He jerked backward, steadying his feet against the floor as he hauled back again, the door barely budging. "Blaine! Blaine?! Damnit!"_

_He burst forward, slamming against the door with a thud and cried out when his shoulder smashed against the wood. "Oww, fuck!" He stepped back and rattled the door knob, shaking it as much as he could even though his hands were going numb from all the work they were doing. Panicking, he stepped away, running over to his desk to grab up a paper clip to distort into some sort of makeshift key. He then grabbed one of his credit cards and rushed back to the door, trying everything he possibly could to jimmy the thing open and get into the bathroom. The paperclip idea failed tremendously and Sebastian threw it across the room in anger. "Shit!"_

_The credit card was his last hope. Pushing it into the small space between the wall and the door, he yelled in relief when the lock popped and the door fell open._

"_Yes! Finally!" He pushed the door open farther and called out, "...Blaine?"_

_The bathroom was oddly cold, causing a chill to seep up Sebastian's spine as he ran over to the closed shower curtain. He pulled the curtain away, not giving two shits whether or not Blaine was stark naked, and gasped at the sight before him._

_Blaine sat on his knees at the bottom of the tub, completely clothed from head to toe in his Dalton uniform. His head was bowed and his arms were limp at his sides as ice cold water beat down on him._

"_Oh Jesus," Sebastian choked out, his eyes watering when he noticed Blaine's eyes were still open, yet completely unfocused. He stepped into the shower, shutting the water (oh god, he had been in there long enough for the hot water to turn icy) off first before he wrapped his arms around Blaine and hefted him out of the shower to sit on the bath mat. "Fuck, Blaine, you're freezing!"_

_Blaine barely moved, his eyes slowly blinking open and shut as he lay limp in Sebastian's arms. His uniform was soaked and dripping water everywhere, all over Sebastian and the floor. Sebastian shivered underneath Blaine's heavy form._

"_We need to get you out of these wet clothes."_

_He unwrapped his arms from Blaine's waist and went to unbutton the blazer, only to find the buttons completely gone, a few still attached to the coat by a thread or two. Not bothering to question why Blaine's jacket was so messed up, he slipped the drenched garment off of Blaine's shoulders and threw it into the tub, moving onto Blaine's white button down shirt next. He was able to remove the majority of his friend's clothing before the other boy finally responded, his hands coming up to hover in front of his face. Sebastian frowned when he noticed the blood underneath Blaine's nails, as well as how red the boy's fingertips were._

"_Blaine, what did you do? God..." He slipped an arm underneath Blaine's legs and pulled him up from the floor, carrying the shivering boy into their bedroom. He set Blaine down on his bed before running over to Blaine's dresser. Grabbing a pile of clothes, Sebastian went back to where his friend lay dormant, Blaine's dark eyes heavy lidded and deadened. "I promise I won't look," he said softly as he tugged Blaine's boxer-briefs off. Keeping his eyes on Blaine's face, Sebastian did his best to dress Blaine up as well and as warmly as he could, barely smiling in relief when he finally got Blaine into some warm pajamas. Once Blaine was dressed, he went back to dressing himself before he picked up Blaine's tired form and put him into his own bed._

_Blaine still shook violently and despite the off look in his eyes, tears ran down his nose and splashed onto his pants._

"_God, Anderson," Sebastian murmured as he slipped in behind his friend and tugged him down to rest against his chest. "What happened to you?" He ran a hand over Blaine's damp curls and felt his own tears finally escape as the boy against him gasped and shuddered in a fit of sadness._

_Both boys laid in bed for hours, crying off and on, but neither spoke – Blaine for god knows what reason and Sebastian because he was fucking terrified of what might come out of his mouth that could be the trigger to push Blaine over the edge... because something was terribly wrong, if that day's events proved anything._

::

"So that's his blazer from that day."

"Yeah. I forgot it was in the tub and the next morning when I finally got out of bed, it was still in there. I didn't know what to do with it; I didn't want to throw it out just in case Blaine still needed it, but then I thought I'd keep it just... just in case Blaine needed help one day and I'd need to tell that story to someone."

"Like me?"

"Like you."

"...what else happened the day after?"

"Well, I woke up and Blaine was in my bed, just staring at me. He must've woken up sometime before I did and swapped beds." Sebastian stared at Blaine for a second before he continued. "He was so out of it and it freaked me out. I got up to get him a drink of water and when I turned back around, he was picking at my blanket with his fingernails. His hands were bleeding again and I ended up having to drag him into the bathroom to clean him up."

"Jesus..."

"Tell me about it. I liked that blanket!"

Kurt glared and stared back down at Blaine's slumbering form, his ex's mouth slightly open as he breathed in shakily. "I just want him to get better. I hate that he's like this."

"You still love him."

"I think I always will. I hate what he did. I hate what happened and for a while, I thought I hated him... but I never did; I couldn't. I was so angry though. When he first told me, I thought it was you that he had been with and he kept on saying that the guy he was with wasn't important and that it didn't matter, but it did. Or at least it did to me because I never thought that would happen to us, you know?"

"Hmm, he wouldn't ever budge when I tried to flirt with him. To be honest, I was incredibly shocked when I heard you two broke up because _he_ cheated. Not to say that I imagined you to cheat, Hummel, but Blaine wouldn't even get with me when I tried to get him last year... and I'm hot."

Kurt scoffed and rolled his eyes at Sebastian's never ending brashness, "You're delusional." He ran his fingers over Blaine's strong jawline and sighed, "I wish I could go back in time and fix this."

"Funny you would say that." Sebastian mused sadly, "If you're planning to time travel, you'd probably have to go back a _lot_ farther than the last few months, Kurt. Just sayin'."

Kurt just sat still, not muttering a word. He couldn't... because he _knew_ Sebastian was right.

::

Kurt stayed for a couple of hours before he had to leave; Dalton's visitor policy demanded that non-student overnight visits were only allowed on weekends and since it was only Thursday, Kurt had to go.

He slipped out of Blaine and Sebastian's room and shut the door carefully behind him, his eyes catching a few random boys' as they watched him cautiously. Among the group of staring people included some of Kurt's old Warbler friends, the very same ones who he shut out following Blaine's eye injury despite the fact that some of those very same guys joined him onstage against Sebastian almost a year ago.

"What are you staring at?" He hissed, glaring daggers at Nick and Jeff, who were both standing in their own doorway watching him.

Nick rolled his eyes and grabbed Jeff's arm, tugging him back into their room as he mumbled to himself. Meanwhile, the rest of the watchful group went on their way and left Kurt standing alone, his entire being on edge as he stared down the familiar hallway of the dormitory. Long ago, he had hung out with those very same guys, wearing that same damn uniform, chatting about the most random stuff while he longingly stared at Blaine. Long ago, he was still finding himself, trying to figure out who he was while he was slowly, but surely falling head over heels in love with his best friend.

The very same best friend who was lying in bed on the other side of that door, a broken shell of the boy he used to be.

Kurt wiped away a few tears that gathered at the corner of his eyes and walked on down the hall, his eyes sweeping over the expanse of holiday decorations that filled the way. Blaine and Sebastian's room had been bare when it came to Christmas décor, but it seemed like everyone else on their floor was in the holiday spirit, still beaming from the Warblers' win at Sectionals.

He wondered if New Directions was faring any better.

Shivering, Kurt stepped out of the residential hall and out into the snowy, chilled air. He tightened his coat around his thin form and made his way to his dad's car, hands gripping the thick fabric. He could feel the pull of the coat against his cool fingertips, the way the scratchy fabric felt as his fingernails were pressed tight against it.

Blaine had ruined his fingers doing something just like this, overly gripping his clothing until his skin rubbed away and bled.

God, Blaine was hurting so bad and Kurt couldn't figure out for the life of him how he could ease the pain without making things more complicated. He wanted to help him, wanted Blaine to get the help he deserved, the help he needed... but he wasn't sure how. Sebastian had tried his best as well to get Blaine to talk to someone, but it hadn't worked. Kurt tried to get Blaine to open up a little bit after Blaine's initial collapse into his arms, but by the time they had done their screaming and crying, Blaine was too exhausted (both physically and mentally) to even do anything except rest against Kurt's body and sleep.

And for that, Kurt was slightly grateful. It looked like Blaine hadn't slept properly in weeks.

He was thinner, his skin paler, making the dark circles beneath his eyes stand out just a little more. However, to a random person, someone who didn't know Blaine that well, they'd probably think he was just fine. But Kurt, on the other hand, knew Blaine much better than that. He knew what Blaine's normal, healthy skintone was like. He knew what Blaine felt like beneath his fingers, the way his muscles felt underneath his palms, the way Blaine was tiny, yet so fit. Kurt _knew_ and he knew that Blaine was struggling... and he was going to help him.

Sliding into the car, Kurt pulled his cellphone from his pocket and texted Sebastian, waiting patiently in the parking lot as the car warmed up.

**To Sebastian:**  
_Promise me you'll watch over him tonight. I'll be back tomorrow as soon as I can get here._

**From Sebastian:**  
_I told you I'd watch him. Calm down. I'll keep an eye on him._

Kurt tossed his phone into the passenger seat, his thoughts only on Blaine as he made the trek back to Lima. His mind raced over the things he witnessed that afternoon, as well as over the story Sebastian had told him.

But most of all, his stomach ached over the last thing Sebastian had said to him as he was pulling the blankets over Blaine's sleeping form.

"_I think what scared me the most that day was how weird it felt that he was so quiet. I knew he was feeling bad and I knew something was up, but that day when I got back from practice and got that text and found out he was still in the shower, I knew something was wrong and it was like I was hearing about Dave Karofsky all over again. And I- I don't want that to happen to Blaine. I don't want Blaine to do what Dave did, you know? Not if I can try to stop him... or help him._

_I just want Blaine to get better."_

He wasn't the only one.

* * *

A/N: I hope this chapter was okay. Let me know what you thought! Also, thanks for all your reviews and support. I really appreciate it!


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. I don't own anything - there we go.

**Don't Run Away**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: Spoilers for Season 4 - an AU of 4x07 on. Basically a 'what if' Blaine transferred back to Dalton like he was planning instead of being talked out of it like Sam was able to do in the actual episode.

TRIGGER WARNING: Self-harm.

* * *

Kurt raced up the stairs two at a time and ran down the hall until he was right outside Blaine and Sebastian's room. It had taken him a little longer to get to Dalton this time around, since it had snowed the night before and the roads were slick, but the point was that he made it and that was all that mattered.

"Evening, Hummel. You wanna come in?"

Kurt looked up and rolled his eyes; Sebastian was leaning in the opened doorway, his signature self-righteous smirk plastered on his face as he watched Kurt fidget in the hall.

"You coming in or not?"

"I'm coming in. Shut up," Kurt said as he slipped past Sebastian and entered the room, immediately tensing when he realized Blaine was no where to be found. "Where's-"

"Anderson's at dinner with Jeff and Nick. They came and dragged him out about an hour ago, so that means he should be back soon." The boy gestured to Blaine's bed and then turned towards his own as Kurt took a seat. "I'm getting ready to go home for break, so you and Blaine can have your _alone time_ or whatever the hell it is that you need."

"Oh, that's right. Dalton's out for Christmas break now."

"Precisely correct, Sherlock, which is why my bags are out, in case you didn't notice." Sebastian teased, "Anyway, Blaine should be back soon. Feel free to make yourself at home or whatever. I don't care, as long as you stay out of my way."

"I'd be glad to."

"Good."

Both boys sat in silence, the only sounds in the room being their soft breathing and the occasional sound of something being carelessly tossed into Sebastian's suitcase; behind him, Kurt grimaced as he watched handful upon handful of nice clothes get squashed into a tiny carry-on.

"Didn't your parents ever teach you how to fold clothes?"

"Of course they did. Do you think I was raised by animals?" Sebastian teased, faking a horrified look. He dramatically crumpled a crisply folded polo into a tiny ball and stuffed it into the suitcase, grinning when Kurt glared at him. "Did I hit a nerve, Hummel?"

"Yes and you know it."

"Good. I'm glad." Sebastian said as stepped back to admire his handiwork. Deeming things worthy, he flipped the case closed and leaned on it as he zipped the overstuffed bag shut. "Well, looks like I'm done here. Home sweet home I go." He hefted the bag over his shoulder and turned to Kurt, his eyes softening slightly as he looked down at him. "I know you and I aren't friends, nor do I ever expect us to be... but, thanks for coming in and seeing Blaine and everything. I hope you two can make up and at least be friends again-"

"That's what I'm hoping too."

"-and that you can finally get him to open up or something." Sebastian's green eyes flickered for a second. "Anyway, I've got to go. Merry Christmas, Kurt."

"You too, Sebastian. Thanks."

Kurt watched as the boy slipped out of the room; once Sebastian was truly gone, he stood up and paced the length of the dorm, his eyes raking over the décor of the area. Sebastian's side had random photos of him and some other Dalton boys, pictures of the lacrosse team and the Warblers. Blaine's side, however, was completely bare.

Something that might've been easier to explain since Blaine had just transferred back no more than two months ago; however, Kurt knew how much Blaine liked to take pictures and tack them up to things. He had dozens of pictures that Blaine had taken of the two of them, as well as photos of New Directions and others in a box in his closet at home. So, Blaine was bound to have photos around here somewhere... it just seemed he didn't have the will to put them up.

Sighing heavily, Kurt laid back on Blaine's bed and pressed himself into the thick pillows, breathing in Blaine's unique scent: a strange mix of berries, coffee, and spice that Kurt, at one time in his life, couldn't get enough of.

Now, however, it just hurt to breathe him in, like he was being suffocated.

Rolling over, Kurt turned his face away from the pillow and stared at the bare, cream-colored wall, his eyes wandering over the small imperfections in the drywall. He laid there for a few moments longer, still in the silence, until the bedroom door opened and Blaine stepped inside, immediately pausing at the sight of Kurt in his bed.

"You're here."

"You weren't expecting me?"

"No," Blaine whispered, stepping fully into the room and shutting the door softly. He walked over to the mini-fridge and almost stuffed a to-go container inside before he paused and turned towards Kurt, "Are you hungry? I have leftovers... it's, umm... a chicken fajita. I remember how much you liked them when you were here."

Kurt stared at the box and smiled sadly, "Dalton did have the best fajitas." He chewed on his lip roughly when the to-go box was pressed into his hands, "Blaine, I can't take this. I-"

"I'm not going to eat it anyway, so you might as well."

The conversation after that dimmed away. Kurt took a seat at Blaine's desk and nibbled on the fajita, eyes studying Blaine as the other boy walked around the room and dragged out his overnight bag, stuffing it with random clothes and toiletries.

"Have any plans for Christmas?"

Blaine froze, the pair of pants in his hands slipping into the open bag as he locked up. "I- I... no, not really."

"So what are you doing then? You're not packing very much."

"I didn't bring very much to begin with."

Kurt frowned, "Oh... I see. Well... umm, what are your plans?" His scowl deepened when Blaine folded his arms across his chest tightly. "Blaine?"

"Mom and Dad are flying to Costa Rica for the holidays. I was going to go to California to visit Cooper, but he just got a role in a film that's being shot in Fiji, so he had to cancel. I'm... staying home this Christmas."

Kurt's heart fell. He knew he shouldn't feel so bad for Blaine, not after what Blaine had done to him just months ago, but it still hurt to know that his_ best friend_ was going to be alone on Christmas, especially since Christmas was one of Blaine's favorite holidays (after Valentine's Day, of course.) Picking at the fajita, Kurt sat deep in thought, his mind racing with ideas. He could invite Blaine to spend Christmas with him or maybe he could drive over to the Anderson's place on Christmas and try to talk to Blaine there.

Whatever it was, it was sure to be an emotional, rough thing for the both of them, but it needed to be done.

"You should spend Christmas at my house."

Blaine scoffed, rolling his eyes as he started to pack more clothes away, "That's a terrible idea."

"I don't see why-"

Blaine turned on his heel, arms still full of clothes. He stared at Kurt with bright, watery eyes, "You can't tell me that me being at your house on _Christmas _is a good idea, Kurt! I hurt you! ...why would you even _ask_ me to come over?"

"Didn't we already go through this, Blaine? You're my friend and-"

"Oh please, we're _far_ from friends anymore, Kurt. I broke your trust and it took you until yesterday to even be able to speak a full sentence to me without being disgusted... and I don't- I don't even know how you managed that."

Kurt rolled his eyes, "I told you I'm _trying_, Blaine! I'm trying to trust you again. I'm trying to be your friend – your _best_ friend - again! I'm trying to learn how to not be upset by that _thing_ you did because even though it shattered my heart into a million pieces, I still love you!"

Blaine slammed his hands down on the bed, his back heaving as he swallowed several deep breaths. "And I told you you _can't_ love me, Kurt. You just can't."

"Don't sit there and tell me what I can and cannot do. Don't you dare."

"I hurt you! What part of _I cheated on you_ do you not understand?!"

Kurt shoved the half-eaten fajita away and stood up, nostrils flaring as he struggled not to launch himself across the room and slam Blaine into the wall. He was just so angry and hurt, listening to Blaine say those things to him and having all that horrible stuff being flung back into his face. It hurt. "Will you stop this?! Quit trying to push me away!"

"Quit acting like everything's okay!"

"I'm not!"

"You are! Trying to invite me over for Christmas doesn't change anything!"

"I was doing that to be nice!" Kurt yelled, his face burning hot as he grew more and more angry with Blaine. "I didn't want you to be alone for Christmas; friends watch out for each other."

"Friends don't hurt each other," Blaine hissed. "Friends don't do what I did to the people they love. _Boy_friends don't fuck up their relationships by sleeping with random people! I did that. I fucked up!"

"God! Quit acting like I don't fucking know that!" Kurt thrust his pointer finger out, slamming it into Blaine's chest with such force that the other boy stumbled backwards. Blaine's eyes shot up to meet Kurt's and his mouth fell open in shock. Before he could speak, Kurt continued, "Quit acting like I don't remember you tearing my heart out and shredding it to pieces. Quit acting like I don't remember lying in bed that night just wishing I'd wake up from whatever awful fucking nightmare I was having – only to find out in the morning that it was all real and I couldn't change a damn thing! Don't you dare act like I don't remember this because I _do_ and it hurts me every single day! I can't eat, I can't sleep. I can't even do _anything _without it reminding me of you or making me want to call you up and tell you about it... but I _can't_ because you decided that what we had wasn't _enough_ for you anymore!" His lower lip trembled as he finished yelling and he cupped a hand over his mouth to stifle the sob that erupted from his throat.

"Kurt-"

"Just don't. Please."

Blaine stood still, his lips pursed as tears ran down his face. He shook his head sadly and crossed his arms over his waist, "His name was Eli."

Kurt looked up, eyes widening when he realized what Blaine was doing. "No, please-"

"Just hear me out," Blaine pleaded quietly, watching Kurt with a sorrowful look. He waited for any sort of response and proceeded when Kurt just nodded his head slightly. "The guy- h-he friended me on Facebook. Just some random guy who came out of nowhere. He kept on sending me messages and wanted to get together and I- I didn't know what to say. He kept on commenting on how I looked and-"

"And you went to him?"

"It was the day you called me from Vogue, Kurt! You called me and then you said something about some woman calling and you needed to go because she had the best gossip and before I even got to say that I loved you, you hung up on me... I went to tell you and I got silence, nothing. You just let me go."

Kurt closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath as he did so.

Blaine continued, his voice low and shaky, "That wasn't the first time that happened. It was like every single time we got to talk to each other, something would happen. Rachel would barge in, you'd be busy, or something. It got to the point where I felt like- that maybe you were moving on without me."

"Blaine, I never-"

"You never wanted to talk to me about anything else but New York. I tried to ask you about what to wear for my debate and you brushed me off. I tried to call you the night I won and you ignored my calls... and then you didn't call me back and when you finally did, it was to talk about your party with Isabelle."

"I was busy, Blaine!"

"I know! God, I know that, Kurt! You were always busy and yeah, I know you had a lot on your plate but- but I was just _sitting_ here, missing you, and it felt like you were having the time of your life without me and I felt _so_ alone, Kurt. So alone."

"So you cheated?"

Blaine nodded slowly, a quiet sob slipping from his lips, "Yes."

"So you cheated because you felt alone? You cheated on me with some random guy, some guy you _didn't even know_ because you felt like I was ignoring you?!"

"Yes. I'm so sorry. You have to believe me when I say that. I wasn't thinking."

"Obviously," Kurt mocked, throwing his hands into the air. "How could you have been so _stupid_?! I told you I was never going to say goodbye to you and instead, you go and fuck some other guy because you were _lonely_! As if I wasn't in the same fucking boat!"

Blaine just wrapped his arms around himself and cried quietly, Kurt's harsh words like fire against his skin. "I'm sorry," he whimpered, shivering as Kurt blew up beside him.

"You threw away our fucking relationship for some random slut you met on Facebook! You should be sorry!"

"I n-never m-meant for this to h-happen. I w-wasn't thinking."

Kurt felt himself grow angrier, his blood boiling as he imagined Blaine writhing beneath some faceless man's form. He couldn't believe what he had just heard from his ex's mouth: that this was caused because Blaine felt _alone_. Like Kurt hadn't had those same pains, like Kurt hadn't been hit on at all during his time in NYC, like Kurt hadn't turned men down because he had a boyfriend waiting for him back home.

He stood there in the silence, the only sounds being the pathetic sobs that came from Blaine and his own labored breathing. He pressed one hand against his stomach and closed his eyes, willing the nausea that was starting to overwhelm him to just go away. "I can't believe this," he muttered, his other hand coming up to pinch at the bridge of his nose.

Blaine stayed silent, his cries starting to die out as the minutes ticked away. Kurt kept still in his spot, his heart still beating wildly against his ribcage.

"Kurt-"

"I was alone, too, you know? I was in some big city trying to navigate my way around, trying to find a good job and I was so scared. I was away from my dad and my friends and _you_ and even though Rachel was there, it wasn't the same. I missed you every single moment I was gone and god, even though it seemed like I was moving on to you, I wasn't, Blaine! I was so excited when you called because I finally had someone to talk to that I knew would be excited for me – not like how Rachel was, but truly excited... aka you!"

"Kurt, I-"

"And I know that I sometimes took over the conversation, I know I did, but sometimes I thought you wanted to hear about what New York was like... so that you'd be excited to get here. Not once did I think that it would've upset you... that it would have made you think I was leaving you behind because I wasn't! I was keeping myself preoccupied until you got there... and then you came and- and you broke my heart."

Blaine started crying again, his hands flying up to his face as he covered his eyes, "I'm so sorry!" He cried. "He didn't mean anything to me. I knew it was a mistake and I knew that I messed everything up the minute it happened."

"But it still happened."

Blaine nodded, palms running across his cheeks to stop the tears from falling, "Yes."

Kurt sucked his lower lip into his mouth and shook his head. "This was a mistake," he said to himself, looking everywhere but at Blaine's face. He stared across the room at Sebastian's stuff and sighed. "I shouldn't have come here. I'm not ready for this."

"I understand," Blaine whispered, his voice so soft and breathy that Kurt had a hard time even hearing what he said. He turned away from Kurt and walked over to his closet, stopping right outside the door. "I'm sorry for what I did and for hurting you, Kurt."

"So am I," Kurt said. His expression was blank and his voice was flat, making Blaine's heart ache terribly as he realized that all he'd done during this discussion was break Kurt's heart all over again.

"I'm sorry."

The door to the room opened and shut, Kurt exiting without saying another word, without giving any last response to Blaine's final apology and as soon as he was gone, Blaine fell against the closet door, his hands balled up in the fabric of his pants. His scabbed fingers tugged against the material and a dull pain ran up Blaine's arms as he felt the healing skin on his fingertips tear along with the pull of the fabric.

He deserved this. He deserved the pain. He deserved to hurt after what he did to Kurt.

But no matter what he did, nothing would _ever_ compete with the pain of a broken heart.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the delay. The holidays kept me busy and then I got the flu the day after Christmas so I'm still getting over that. However, while I was lying in bed, contagious with the fever from hell (and subsequently NOT able to go celebrate the New Year with my fam and friends like I wanted), I got to working on this, so if it's not the greatest chapter in the world, I apologize. Blame it on the flu! Anyway, so now Kurt knows most about what happened with Eli and he's still dumbstruck by it all and Blaine's still broken up over it and that will lead us into our next chapter, which focuses on Christmas (yay!)

So, I hope you stick around and if you have any questions or complaints or whatever, you can message me on here or my Tumblr and I'll do my best to answer your questions. Please leave me a review and let me know what you thought. Constructive criticism is also welcome! Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. I don't own anything - there we go. I also do not own the movie _Meet Me in St. Louis_ nor do I own anything involved with that film (music and otherwise.)

**Don't Run Away**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: Spoilers for Season 4 - an AU of 4x07 on. Basically a 'what if' Blaine transferred back to Dalton like he was planning instead of being talked out of it like Sam was able to do in the actual episode.

TRIGGER WARNING: Slight mentioning of previous self-harm.

* * *

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
Let your heart be light  
Next year all our troubles will be out of sight_

_Meet Me in St. Louis_ was playing on the television, Judy Garland's angelic voice slipping from the speakers and filling the dark, cold living room while Blaine laid on the couch, a simple throw blanket wrapped around him as he half-heartedly watched the film. He was two days into his break and it was Christmas Eve, but it didn't feel like it. For one, there wasn't anyone else around except for him. His parents were off in Costa Rica on a holiday and his big brother, of whom he had _planned_ to spend Christmas with, was off in Fiji preparing to shoot some d-list horror film.

None of his friends were around either, not that he had many to begin with. The Warblers had all gone home, the richer of his classmates heading off to foreign countries for their holiday, and when it came down to anyone in the New Directions, the only few Blaine still talked to were busy as well. Sam had gone with his family to Kentucky and Finn was busy with the preparations at the Hummel-Hudson household, so that was that.

Blaine was alone.

He tugged the blanket tighter around his shivering frame and groaned when a sharp, burning pain ran up both of his arms. The tender skin on his fingertips pulled against the blanket's fabric and he gasped at the pain, somehow forgetting that his hands were still healing from the damage he did to them just a few nights before after Kurt had left his dormitory in an emotional breakdown.

_Kurt_...

Before their fated conversation about what had gone down that night Blaine cheated, Kurt had wanted him to come spend Christmas with the Hudmels. Blaine had shot down the idea as soon as it came out, but if he was completely honest with himself, there was no place he'd rather be than with the Hudson-Hummels right now.

He knew that Christmas was a special time with that family. Burt tried to make Christmases a happy time for Kurt since the time they lost Mrs. Hummel was right around the holiday season, plus now that their family was blended and much larger, they had more extended family to deal with, as well as combined celebrations. When it came to the newer members of the family, Carole was an amazing cook and tended to make enough food for an army and Finn was a jolly giant, finding great joy in decorating the Christmas tree or putting up the lights. Burt and Kurt had their own celebrations as well and Blaine had been lucky enough to partake in them last Christmas; he had ruined any chance of ever spending another holiday with the Hudmels this year though.

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
Make the yuletide gay  
Next year all our troubles will be miles away_

_If only,_ Blaine thought to himself as he stared up at Judy, watching as she sang to the young girl onscreen. It had been years since any of his 'troubles' had been anywhere but inside his head, pecking at him and ruining his train of thought. Every single day he was hounded by past horrors whether they were the insults that had been flung at him daily at his old school or how disgusting he felt after his encounter with Eli. Nothing ever went away so easily. Even now he could still hear the sounds of his peers laughing at him, calling him names as he struggled to pick up his scattered books. He could still hear the sounds of Eli's breathy moans in his ear as the other boy climaxed against him and he could especially hear the jeering of the football team the night of his Sadie Hawkins' dance as they kicked and punched at him and his date, leaving the two of them for dead after a brutal beating.

The memories were always there, the sounds as clear as day, and no matter how much time passed, it still hurt.

It always hurt.

_Once again as in olden days  
Happy golden days of yore  
Faithful friends who are dear to us  
Will be near to us once more_

To be honest, Blaine didn't wish for any of his old friends to ever have to deal with him again. He could think of a million things better that those people could do with their time than to worry about him anymore. He didn't deserve anyone's pity or 'friendship' or anything else for that matter.

He always fucked everything up, which was why he was perfectly fine with being alone.

Or so he said... but it was never that easy.

_Someday soon, we all will be together  
If the Fates allow  
Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow  
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now. _

Sighing, he paused the movie and stretched himself out on the couch, his muscles aching from the lack of movement. He had lounged on the couch for several hours, only getting up to relieve himself. Other than that, he just laid there and existed – if one could even count watching tv for several hours straight as 'existing.'

He barely had the motivation to do _anything_. All he really wanted to do was sleep. Sleep away the strange feeling of numbness that crept over his body. Sleep away the cold that slipped up his spine and made everything feel frozen and stuck. He just wanted those strange feelings to go away, but they never did, and he had no idea how to make them stop.

Sometimes... sometimes he heard voices, could hear the snide remarks in the back of his mind just berating him for every little thing he's ever done wrong. Sometimes the voices turned into his parents' voices or the voices of his friends. A lot of the time though, they were the sounds of his enemies, his bullies, and his peers. They would pick at him, pick at his self-esteem, and his entire existence – and they just wouldn't stop.

_You're no good, Blaine. You'll never be good enough for anyone. You're a fuck up. Your parents can do better. They have Cooper, he's all the son they need. Kurt deserves better than you and he always has. Why do you need all the solos? Artie sings better than you. Tina sings better than you. Why are you always running? Scared, Blaine? Why are you so afraid? Chicken! Come back, you wuss! Why are you crying? Baby, baby, crying for his mommy! How could you? I hope you get AIDS and die, you freak! Burn in hell, faggot._

_Why don't you just kill yourself? Make the world a better place._

Blaine closed his eyes and laid back against the cushions, willing the awful words that filled his head to just go away for one measly second. He heard this shit day in and day out and for the longest time (when Kurt was around, he reminded himself gently) the voices would just dim down and he felt safe; however, the second Kurt left for New York and their time with one another was limited, it was like someone had opened the gates to hell.

_Why don't you just do us a favor and die?_

He cried out, yanking a throw pillow from off of the floor and pressed it to his face. Screaming, he kicked his legs and pushed the pillow down harder, reveling in the feeling of the lack of oxygen that he was getting. Sometimes this was the only way he could calm down: to scream – that or box, but he didn't have the motivation to even bother with anything too physical right now, so some days he shoved that option to the side and kept on screaming, as he was doing at that very moment. His muffled yells barely filled the quiet house, but after several minutes, Blaine quieted down and removed the pillow from his face. Tears escaped from behind his lashes and he laid completely still, the shadows from the television hurting his eyes.

_No one could hate you more than you hate yourself, isn't that right, Blaine?_

He ran a fist over his wet eyes and sat up, resting his elbows on his knees as he shakily breathed in and out. His breath remained stuttered for a few minutes before he finally calmed down enough to wipe his face on the cuff of his nightshirt. He took a look around the dark living room and sighed, rising from his seat on the couch to head to the bathroom. He had been sitting stationary for so long that he needed to go to the restroom, so he took off down the hall, ducking into the downstairs bath to relieve himself.

It was while he was in there that he heard the thud outside in the hallway.

His back tensed instantly. He finished what he was doing and stepped back, pressing his body against the door to listen for the noise. Once again, a loud thump echoed down the hall, followed by a quick succession of sharper sounds. Stomach churning, Blaine quickly made work of washing his hands, drying them on a towel as he stepped out into the hall and crept to the front door where the sounds were coming from. He stood in front of the door for a moment, breath held tightly in his lungs as he debated to look into the peephole to see who was outside.

However, before he could even move, a voice came from behind the door.

"Blaine? Blaine, please let me in."

It was Kurt.

::

Kurt stepped into the foyer and immediately Blaine could tell something was terribly wrong with him. Kurt's eyes were bright red and puffy, evidence that he had recently been crying, and the boy was shaking like a leaf, one fist pressed tight against his thin-lipped, expressionless mouth.

"Kurt?"

"I didn't know who to talk to."

_A last resort, of course_, the voice in the back of Blaine's head muttered, but Blaine shook his head and stepped closer to his ex, every nerve in his body on edge as he watched Kurt tremble before him.

"Kurt, what is it?"

"My dad, he- he-"

"He what?"

"He- he has cancer, Blaine. He h-has c-cancer."

::

As soon as that awful word spilled from his lips, Kurt collapsed into Blaine's arms, his hands clutching against Blaine's nightshirt as he bawled. Blaine gently wrapped his arms around the distraught boy, quietly reminding himself that no matter what, Kurt had been his best friend once and this was what best friends do – even though Kurt completely tore him to pieces a few days ago. _But_ Kurt needed him _now_ and that was all that mattered, no matter what happened back then. Slowly, Blaine ran his hands up and down the curve of Kurt's back, his head tucked against Kurt's as the boy in his arms sobbed brokenly.

"I don't- why does this shit h-happen to me?" Kurt cried, his tone wavering miserably as he struggled to not hyperventilate. Blaine tried his best to soothe his upset friend, but he was at a loss. Here Kurt was trying not to fall apart too badly and Blaine's emotions were all over the place.

He didn't know what to think at that moment. For one, he was heartbroken that this was happening, that once again Kurt was getting the shaft and his life was being turned upside down for no good reason. But then he was also shocked that Kurt had come to _him_ of all people. He was the one who had destroyed it all after all, but yet Kurt came to him for comfort... even if he was, perhaps, a last resort.

It was all too much.

Blaine stepped back, his grip loosening on Kurt's body as he took a good look at him. "Why don't we go into the living room?" He asked quietly, his voice barely coming out strong or loud enough for Kurt to understand him. Before Kurt could even question what Blaine had said, Blaine turned and went into the den, Kurt following behind him.

"I-I'm sorry that I b-barged in like this... I didn't know what to do. I couldn't s-stay in that house any longer. Not with the l-lies."

"Lies?"

Kurt plopped down on the couch, "They just kept on saying it was going to be okay. Dad said they caught it early enough that he should be fine, but I know he's lying. I just know he is."

"But what if he's not?"

"He is!" Kurt yelled, bursting into tears yet again. "They said the same thing when my mom got sick. They said she was going to get better and she didn't! She died! She died, but she was supposed to get better and I'm not ready to be an orphan! I'm 19, Blaine! Your parents are supposed to be there for you, for everything, for your wedding and their grandkids and everything and my dad's got cancer and he's dying!"

Blaine gnawed on his lower lip, his eyes flickering around his empty house. He looked at the pictures of his parents with their fake smiles and he couldn't help but feel like an orphan himself, even though it felt horrible to think such terrible thoughts. Shaking his head, he turned back to Kurt and cautiously took a seat on the couch next to him. "I don't know what to say, Kurt. I'm sor-"

"You don't have to apologize. You didn't do this," Kurt whispered, slowly reaching a hand out to Blaine. He held his hand palm up and Blaine gently took it within his own, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"I wish I could help you."

"I wish..." He trailed off and Blaine closed his eyes, feeling the tears begin to brim. A swift tug of his hand made him tumble forward and he fell against Kurt's shoulder, gasping when Kurt's arms snaked around him.

"Can you just hold me please? Like you used to?"

"Kurt, I don't think that's a good idea." Anxiety swirled in Blaine's stomach like a foul, sour hurricane. He felt like he was going to throw up or pass out and he wasn't sure what the cause was. Was it Kurt? Was it their close proximity? What was it? He meant to pull away, but as soon as he felt Kurt shudder against him, all rational thought went out the window and his emotions got the better of him. He slowly pulled away and leaned back on his side of the couch, pulling Kurt on top of him. He could feel Kurt lay down on his chest, the boy's head right above his steady beating heart, and he slid an arm around Kurt's waist. Softly, he began to hum.

"Is that _Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas_?" Kurt asked, his voice muffled from his position on Blaine's chest. Blaine nodded and ran a hand through Kurt's thick hair.

"Yes."

"Oh. I love that song."

"I know."

Blaine continued to hum, despite the fact that his entire body was aching, a slow throbbing ache that spread from his heart to the tips of his toes and his fingertips. He was trying his best to keep it cool and not shut down, but he knew he wouldn't be able to hide his despair forever. After what had happened the other day in his dorm, he found himself absolutely terrified of Kurt – not because the boy _hurt_ him or anything... but because no matter what, Kurt still had Blaine's heart in the palm of his hand and he had all the power. He could easily shatter Blaine like thin glass and it was evident in how quickly Blaine had fallen into soothing friend mode that he was easily taken when it came to Kurt.

And _that_ scared him to death. More than anything had ever scared him before.

Still carding his hand through Kurt's hair, Blaine finished his song, unpausing his movie as soon as he was done. Kurt lay nestled against his chest, having been lulled asleep by the gentle vibrations of Blaine's humming and with his warm weight on top of Blaine's cold, stiff form, Blaine could do nothing but stare blankly up at the wall. He sighed heavily and curled his arms around Kurt, ignoring the pang of hurt in his chest as he felt Kurt's heart beat against his own.

_It used to be like this before you fucked it all up, Blaine. You used to be able to do this for hours. Look at what you messed up._

Blaine closed his eyes and tightened his grip around Kurt, willing the words that batted around in his brain to just disappear. There was no doubt in his mind that this was only going to be a one-night sort of deal. Tomorrow Kurt would wake up and realize his mistake, realize that he came running to _Blaine_ of all people and then he'd go running out the door and back home... and Blaine would be alone again. In the morning, Kurt would be gone again and as much as Blaine didn't want to see him go, he knew it was inevitable and he'd better just take it all in now.

So he did. He restarted the movie and snuggled more into the couch, his arms still cradling Kurt as he pressed himself further into the cushions. After tonight things would go back to being as awful as they were before, but until then, Blaine was going to savor the moment and the fact that Kurt was with him. He pressed a soft kiss to Kurt's warm forehead and closed his eyes, allowing the coldness that had overtaken his heart to just wilt away for the night as he soothed his ex-boyfriend.

Because tomorrow would be a completely different day with a completely different Kurt and Blaine even if it _was_ Christmas.

* * *

A/N: Let me know what you thought. I hope to have the next chapter out soon (quicker than this one hopefully) and in the next one, a pretty pivotal conversation will come up, so stay tuned.


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